felldenbox

[takeroot]

can i get an f in chat for fellden

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[takeroot]

I don't need it. [...okay,] Rather—

[There's a cute little coffee table in front of the chair V's halfway claimed, covered in packages and more baskets of nonsense; Constantin scoots one of these out of the way and sits right there on the edge of the table, to look up at him. Hey bud.]

I will take it, because we're friends and it troubles you, but I do want you to rest easy over it.

[summonere]

It did... relieve me to think that there might be help coming if I needed it.

[ Not... something... he's used to feeling, at all. But that is why he'd gone ahead and sent it, it did make him feel better even if there was too much panic and dread motivating him as well. ]

[takeroot]

See? You can have it both ways.

[An apology and an insurance policy! Constantin will hand the trinket over without protest if V really wants him to, but all the same, it's nice to feel relied upon. Friendship is full of so many twists.]

Did something happen?

[Surely his chattering about juggling did not really inspire this...]

[summonere]

[ The obvious answer is yes, but watch him say it, ]

No. I just-- I had decide whether or not I was really going to put time into being someone.

[ Despite what might have come out of his mouth, he had not really fully committed to this. Not in his actions. ]

[takeroot]

[V, please, what a thing to say. Constantin raises an eyebrow.]

...Alright, [if you say so, bud! but it's totally yes.] Well, as always, if you would like more of my sterling advice, I am readily available!

[summonere]

I've even corroborated some of your advice. It's been a popular response that no one really knows what they're doing.

[ He finds himself thinking that often now, when he's talking to other people. It helps him relax to realize they're an idiot who doesn't know what's going on in their life either, rather someone much farther ahead of him in a race that he's never going to win. ]

[takeroot]

Yes, that's one of my better ones. Right up there with "you might as well," the solution to many of life's problems.

[Constantin "treat yo self" d'Orsay, life coach, has spoken.]

[summonere]

Is that how you ended up with all these toys?

[ He did not call it junk! You're welcome! ]

[takeroot]

Maybe it is! There's nothing wrong with that.

[Let him live his best kitsch life.]

[summonere]

I would only end up with more projects and responsibilities.

[ Because he is fundamentally not someone carefree. ]

[takeroot]

Only because you're addicted to working yourself to the bone, that is.

[Some people know when to take breaks.]

[summonere]

You took on an entire orphanage.

[ Meanwhile: V takes on the fate of the whole world. He didn't think that comment through. ]

[takeroot]

[Bud, this is the lamest attempt at calling him a hypocrite. Please.]

Yes, and at home I managed an island, which also has nothing to do with you and your habits.

[summonere]

You could have taken up one of the fortresses.

[ Allocated resources to all the orphanages in your district. ]

[takeroot]

[Hmm... Hmmm.]

Are you criticizing me now? Being capable and being obligated are two different things.

[summonere]

Do you feel criticized?

[ Sounds like a personal problem. ]

I am not addicted to working myself to the bone, it has just taken time to find anyone trustworthy to delegate any of the work to. If I had a goal I could be open with, I would have volunteered myself to one of those fortresses and set them all to work.

[ Instead he gets to scuttle around under the radar. ]

[takeroot]

Well, I am quite content with my little orphanage. I told you I'd prefer to be left to my own devices, didn't I? I should think you know what I mean.

[But he just wants to hang out with his kids, so.]

[summonere]

[ Contentment sounds fake. ]

I'm happy, as long as you are.

[ He had said something similar in being told that Nero was here, but from a different canon point, in a different faction; with no idea who V is. His own position in all this doesn't matter at all. ]

[takeroot]

[Constantin considers him for a moment, then hums and moves to sift through one of his many baskets of kitsch.]

My life here is better than the one I left behind, [is what he offers after a moment, because it's true; it's missing one crucial piece that would make it, despite everything in this world threatening to crumble at a moment's notice, nearly perfect - but it's still better. To live under constant anxiety and stress is so unappealing and he'll pass, actually, in favor of his simple cottage and simple life. A few friends. The children. It's enough.

But it isn't enough for everyone, something that every conversation he has with V inevitably makes clear, so,] Perhaps your trusty delegates can help you find your potential future happiness.

[Because ya sad, V. Sad as fuck.]

[summonere]

I seem that unhappy to you?

[ I mean, that's probably fair. He's just checking. ]

[takeroot]

Oh, yes.

[Trust him, he's well-versed in self-destructive unhappiness, his is just usually louder.]

But you are ambitious, which is lucky.

[summonere]

Oh? You don't think my ambition is the source, then.

[ Cuz V would probably point there first if you really asked him. ]

[takeroot]

[He shrugs.]

I don't know about that. It could be both.

[summonere]

[ That brings a bitter little smile to V's face, not entirely lacking actual amusement, but sharp. ]

That sounds about right.

[takeroot]

[Well, self-awareness is good...]

So I was right about you still being unhappy, then? [sad......cheer up bud.]