felldenbox

[takeroot]

can i get an f in chat for fellden

Comments

[summonere]

I've even corroborated some of your advice. It's been a popular response that no one really knows what they're doing.

[ He finds himself thinking that often now, when he's talking to other people. It helps him relax to realize they're an idiot who doesn't know what's going on in their life either, rather someone much farther ahead of him in a race that he's never going to win. ]

[takeroot]

Yes, that's one of my better ones. Right up there with "you might as well," the solution to many of life's problems.

[Constantin "treat yo self" d'Orsay, life coach, has spoken.]

[summonere]

Is that how you ended up with all these toys?

[ He did not call it junk! You're welcome! ]

[takeroot]

Maybe it is! There's nothing wrong with that.

[Let him live his best kitsch life.]

[summonere]

I would only end up with more projects and responsibilities.

[ Because he is fundamentally not someone carefree. ]

[takeroot]

Only because you're addicted to working yourself to the bone, that is.

[Some people know when to take breaks.]

[summonere]

You took on an entire orphanage.

[ Meanwhile: V takes on the fate of the whole world. He didn't think that comment through. ]

[takeroot]

[Bud, this is the lamest attempt at calling him a hypocrite. Please.]

Yes, and at home I managed an island, which also has nothing to do with you and your habits.

[summonere]

You could have taken up one of the fortresses.

[ Allocated resources to all the orphanages in your district. ]

[takeroot]

[Hmm... Hmmm.]

Are you criticizing me now? Being capable and being obligated are two different things.

[summonere]

Do you feel criticized?

[ Sounds like a personal problem. ]

I am not addicted to working myself to the bone, it has just taken time to find anyone trustworthy to delegate any of the work to. If I had a goal I could be open with, I would have volunteered myself to one of those fortresses and set them all to work.

[ Instead he gets to scuttle around under the radar. ]

[takeroot]

Well, I am quite content with my little orphanage. I told you I'd prefer to be left to my own devices, didn't I? I should think you know what I mean.

[But he just wants to hang out with his kids, so.]

[summonere]

[ Contentment sounds fake. ]

I'm happy, as long as you are.

[ He had said something similar in being told that Nero was here, but from a different canon point, in a different faction; with no idea who V is. His own position in all this doesn't matter at all. ]

[takeroot]

[Constantin considers him for a moment, then hums and moves to sift through one of his many baskets of kitsch.]

My life here is better than the one I left behind, [is what he offers after a moment, because it's true; it's missing one crucial piece that would make it, despite everything in this world threatening to crumble at a moment's notice, nearly perfect - but it's still better. To live under constant anxiety and stress is so unappealing and he'll pass, actually, in favor of his simple cottage and simple life. A few friends. The children. It's enough.

But it isn't enough for everyone, something that every conversation he has with V inevitably makes clear, so,] Perhaps your trusty delegates can help you find your potential future happiness.

[Because ya sad, V. Sad as fuck.]

[summonere]

I seem that unhappy to you?

[ I mean, that's probably fair. He's just checking. ]

[takeroot]

Oh, yes.

[Trust him, he's well-versed in self-destructive unhappiness, his is just usually louder.]

But you are ambitious, which is lucky.

[summonere]

Oh? You don't think my ambition is the source, then.

[ Cuz V would probably point there first if you really asked him. ]

[takeroot]

[He shrugs.]

I don't know about that. It could be both.

[summonere]

[ That brings a bitter little smile to V's face, not entirely lacking actual amusement, but sharp. ]

That sounds about right.

[takeroot]

[Well, self-awareness is good...]

So I was right about you still being unhappy, then? [sad......cheer up bud.]

[summonere]

Listen.

[ He seems a little stern about that. He needs people to just stop worrying about him and listen sometimes. ]

Once a week I stay at Dimitri's house in Neutral territory. That lets me teach at the house and read to the local kids in Kyst. It's less travel for me, and I can see K or Lottie in town on those days.

[ Maybe once a week sounds like nothing but it's an increase from his absolute zero personal time that he had before. ]

I like doing those things, and I'll just be unhappy the rest of the time.

[ He's joking, but maybe he's always going to have some unhappiness. ]

[takeroot]

[Once a week is nothing at all, but— well, but. Constantin holds up a hand, placating; at least he got more than a few words out of V about This Thing, but please, take a breath.]

Alright, alright. I care for you, of course, but please don't mistake that as my thinking of you as some sort of problem to solve. I have plenty of those of my own.

[He'll make a mental note to fret less.]

[summonere]

[ V thinks of himself as a problem to solve, so maybe it's just 100% projection when he thinks other people look at him to same way. ]

Can I help with any of them?

[ Not that he needs more projects, but well. Friendship is kind of a project that requires time put in. ]

[takeroot]

[You know, he really should have expected "can I help" to be a possible response to that, and yet it still gives him pause. Ah... maybe he should just divert with something about helping him decorate... hm.]

Ah— no, I think these puzzles ought to stay all mine. Were it such that I could be more of a tragic hero and endure for some noble triumph; my many imperfections are only embarrassing!

[Fun! Life improves but does he, has he at all? Who knows.]

[summonere]

[ V looks at him carefully, not really buying this display of dramatics, but he also knows the best he can do is offer. If his help isn't wanted, he's not actually going to try to fight it. ]

Then I'll help you get all these things on shelves so that you can get on with rearranging them three more times.