[Fight him, Ragnar. Or: Felix is idly considering something above the door when said door suddenly opens, and—ah! Kids, indeed. He blinks down at them just as the, ah, braver half of the duo asks him that very important question, and let it be known that Felix... is somewhat charmed. Somewhat. Something, something, he isn't immune to emotion, which is definitely why he snorts as he watches them try their damnedest to stay in sight as Constantin tries his damnedest to shoo them back. Is he supposed to discourage them... sorry, Connie, but...]
Two swords, [he says as he steps inside, gesturing down to their hilts.] Along with other things.
[Always be prepared, etc, etc—but as one twin excitedly elbows the other, Felix shifts his attention back up to Constantin, giving him a quick once-over as the corners of his lips just barely quirk upward. Time to step inside.]
Well? What else did you tell them not to say?
Edited (i forgot he had to move this tag, do not @ me) 2020-03-12 02:24 (UTC)
[Ah, wow, thanks Flex... The twins are beside themselves with wide-eyed delight even as the adults keep talking without them. One of them gasps about something sword-related in the midst of their chatter. Constantin has to actually, legitimately sidle in front of the other one before he can try to reach out and touch one of those swords. Kids!!]
Nothing at all, [he says, very believably. Of course he tells his many children cool stories about Felix, but please, do not ask him to self-roast about whatever dumb stuff he's said... whew.] If any of them ask you about squirrels, I certainly had no hand in that.
[Now come with him for the official tour... It's not a very big orphanage and it has seen better days, but it's also seen worse days, so things are looking up for everyone except Ragnar, who has definitely found the flower disaster now if the distant exclamation of despair is anything to go by. Ignore him...]
These two are Otto and Fritz, by the way. I told you about them.
[Significant gaze...... say something complimentary about these tiny terrors and make their whole fuckin week, Felix. Do it for him.]
[Please know that Dorte, having seen who knows how many battles, will not be intimidated by Ragnar in the slightest. Good luck shooing that horse away, sir. Anyway: Felix follows Constantin without complaint, deciding that he is definitely going to quiz one of these kids about squirrels if they don't bring it up first. It's necessary. He must know the depth of Constantin's (frankly bizarre) squirrel hatred...]
Hm. The troublemakers.
[That is not a disapproving tone? That is not a disapproving look he offers them? Their reputation precedes them—and as Felix studies them for a moment longer, considering just how much energy it takes to be a nuisance:]
They look strong enough. Someone should teach them to hunt. [Faerghus babies learn to hunt straight out the womb! Probably! It's Tradition™. But a beat, and then, because ya man just can't help it, Connie:] Squirrels are good for beginners.
[Listen!! It's been a week, and now that he's back with Constantin... he's in as good a mood as he can be.]
[Said troublemakers are already proud of themselves for that much, but whew, to have Felix 2 Swords call them strong? Truly a rambunctious little gremlin's dream; immediately they break into a little squabble about which one of them is stronger. Stay tuned.
Felix on the other hand is so lucky that Constantin has, hm, missed him very much? Do not roast him about squirrels, sir, but whew... He scoffs and bumps Felix's arm with his own, just barely hiding his embarrassing smile by striding forward quickly, to gesture them grandly into... a living room. It's a playroom/living room hybrid, with a smaller room visible beyond that appears to currently house several boxes of books. The twins continue their scuffle over to some toy swords, which actually are just sticks from the yard, and that's what they're doing for the next ten minutes now.
Constantin lingers by the doorway, watching Felix, barely containing the need to vibrate out of his skin while he waits for some kind of, like... overall response? Please rate and review this hallway, one room, and two kids, thank you. Well—]
[Oh, look at them go... they're cute? Like two overeager puppies? Felix is more of a cat person, it's true, but as long as those two keep their rambunctiousness over there, Felix is more or less content to stand here and watch them do their thing for a few seconds. Kids! They almost remind him of—
—well, you know. Let him just tuck that thought away as he looks back at Constantin, taking in the sight of him before pretending that something else in this room has caught his eye. He's not sentimental, do not @ him (and do not stare @ him), but it... has been a bit since they've seen one another.]
It's near Hesperia. And you did invite me.
[So he was obligated—except he wasn't and they both know it. Felix doesn't do anything Felix doesn't want to do, blah, blah, blah; he simply must be like this before he shifts his weight to one leg, pretending to take a bit longer to Consider things before he adds:]
You've... done well, [he says, sweeping his eyes about the room—cozy!—before they come to rest on those troublesome twins.] They seem happy.
[And he's sure the other children are happy, too. That is Important, because Felix is Soft.]
[They are the wildest of Connie's many children, and he knows this, and they know this which only makes them wilder. It's fine; they are entertained for the moment, which gives Constantin plenty of time to look at Felix very fondly. Sorry babe!! He can't help it!]
I should hope they are, [he says in his Exasperated Single Parent voice, before he softens near-immediately:] I would give them the world if I could, but I like to think I'm doing alright by them so far.
[With his cozy rooms and many in-progress repairs... He's trying! He doesn't know what he's doing, but it seems to be working out! Besides Ragnar's struggle, it seems to be working out.
And Felix is here to see it, which warms him in a now very familiar way, the simple pleasure of sharing this part of his life with, ah, another part of his life. Whew! He has to clasp his hands together behind his back before he does something untoward.]
Those two will be busy in here for a while yet, [and they Will want sword lessons later!] so what would you like to see next?
[What does it take to make children happy? It's a simple question with, like, a billion possible answers, but as Felix listens to the twins squabble somewhere off to the side... hmm. The most important thing, he thinks, is that they know someone genuinely cares for them, and Felix doesn't doubt that Constantin does. Give these kids the world, huh... well, given the world in which they live...
Far be it for Felix to get all Sentimental, in the comfort of his own mind, but hey: There is a warmth to this place, even though he's only seen, like, a tiny part of it. That's key. Constantin is doing swell, and as Felix looks back over at him, that hint of a smile becomes something... still small, yes, but undeniably real.]
Where are the rest of them? [Answering a question with a question, partly because he has no idea what Constantin would prefer to show off—but also because, as he leans slightly to the side to pointedly peer around Constantin:] I haven't seen your shadow.
[Lil Luther, of course. Did Felix intimidate him at first... surely they're on good terms now...]
[That tiny smile almost makes up for not seeing Felix for a week. Almost! Constantin needs at least two more Felix smiles to be satisfied, but the day is young. He chuckles, waving a hand at Felix to stop that, lord... not in front of the wild boys.]
Luther is upstairs, and he was very serious when he asked us to leave him be until he's ready.
[Which would be a concern like it was the last time Luther wanted to lock himself in his room, but it's fine, he's just preparing for Felix's grand visit. Give him twenty minutes.]
In the meantime, let me show you our prized installation... a rope swing in the back.
[Spoilers: it keeps falling down before anyone can use it. They need a strong man(tm) to fix this... Follow him to this rope sitting on the ground. Does he need to ask? He can ask, or they can just look at this rope on the ground in silence.]
[Oh, boy. Well, whatever Luther is doing is Luther's business, and thus Felix isn't about to ask fifty questions or even consider invading his space; he simply straightens back up and, after giving the twins one last look—the energy, holy shit—follows right after Constantin. A rope swing...
Or, more accurately: a coil of rope sitting beneath a tree branch. Ah. They can indeed stare at it in silence for a moment—and then Felix is walking up to it to, like, nudge it with the toe of his boot. He's fairly certain what's expected of him here. He also knows that he's going to do it, both for the kids and for Constantin, but first: a flat look. Connie!]
You climbed a wall, [he points out, because he MUST,] but you won't climb a tree?
[Wow, don't just put him on blast like that. Constantin shrugs, because of course Felix doing this thing for him is a done deal, please— but alright, alright! Maybe that's a fair point.]
I'm setting a good example for the little ones!
[This is the face of a responsible adult(tm)... believe him.]
I was never very good at climbing trees, besides; I told you I grew up in the heart of the city. [Trees? In cluttered plague city? No. Anyway,] Would you help?
[A good example? Ridiculous, which is why Felix snorts before shifting his attention back down to the rope. Maybe he'd buy Connie's City Boy Excuse™ if he didn't, you know, climb a wall, but it's not like it matters; Felix is just obligated to be a pain, even as he reaches down to begin unbuckling his stupid sword belt.]
Climbing a tree is easier than climbing a wall.
[Grumble, grumble, grumble. But the buckles are undone soon enough, and after unwinding the thing from around his waist—hey? Hey. Felix holds the belt and the two (2) swords attached to it out for Connie to take, because like hell he's climbing a tree while his good swords clank against its trunk.]
Now I see why you invited me. [Free labor... nah, he's teasin', albeit in his rude way.] Hold these. Don't set them down.
[Respect them! Even if they are heavy! This is a sign of Trust...]
[Oh, he has to hold something heavy? Never mind, swing is canceled... No, he's got these-- does he make a face at how heavy they are? He does; one sword is heavy enough and this is excessive, but whatever! He's got it! He shifts them around until he's more or less hugging the whole thing to his chest, which is the best he can do if he has to hold these for A While.]
If you're going to make your little implications, I did want to have someone repaint the front door sometime soon.
[Haha just kidding...... unless? No, actually just kidding, Felix's free labor would be wasted on holding a paintbrush.
Constantin nods at the sad rope on the ground.]
Feel free to put my efforts to shame! I will make it worth your while.
[What does he look like, Connie? A handyman? ...Actually, don't answer that; just enjoy this mild Look before Felix does indeed pick up the rope, quickly coiling it around his shoulder. Time to climb this tree! Which should be simple enough, given both its size and conveniently placed branches, so....]
How gracious of you. [A scoff!] Not that shaming you will be difficult. It hardly warrants a reward.
[He knows Constantin is probably talking about, like, a cup of pine needle tea—and you bet your ass he's going to accept it, but. They both know why he's doing this!
Anyway, Constantin gets to kick back and watch Felix, like, shimmy right up this tree, which is just thrilling. It's clear he's done this many a time? Something, something, hunters do what they need to do to land the perfect shot... and he's graceful, thanks to all of his training. He crawls to the middle of this branch as easily as a cat might, but please, don't make this comparison; as he drops one end of the rope to the ground, just tell him if it's properly centered. He's waiting. Expectantly.]
[Must this small man complain about being rewarded... Constantin gives him a Look of his own, since his hands are occupied and can't dismissively wave away his grumbling; shush, there will be tea, and it will be delicious (for Felix only), and he will just have to accept Constantin's urge to spoil him with awful tea for doing him this one favor. Very simple!
So, okay, there goes Felix... tiny man wriggling up this tree in his backyard, hmm, what an afternoon this is turning out to be... Constantin watches, shuffling back and forth a bit to give this rope a critical stare once Felix drops it down. Ah, he's never set up a swing, so...]
[He can't just be nice? Duh. :\ But it isn't as though he has any more, ah, rope swing experience than Constantin, so is this knot he soon finds himself tying even going stand the test that is Rambunctious Children? Who knows. He'll just add an extra knot... and then another knot... and then loop it all back around for another knot...
Or: It's a process. He's taking it seriously. There's a good deal of grumbling, a fair amount of muttered curses‐but soon the rope swing is in place, and Felix slips back down the tree trunk, dusting his sleeves off once he's back on terra firma. He did an excellent job, he knows, thank you so much, but as he takes in his handiwork—]
Hm. [A noise of apparent approval, before he glances back at Connie.] Perhaps you should test it.
[It's close to the ground, they'll be fine... Surely... Constantin has seen the twins, at least, smack each other around and keep on trucking, so surely!! It's fine.
He holds the swords out for Felix to take back, but ah, what's this? Has he ever properly been on a swing in his life? No.]
I once tried to swing from the balustrade in my father's house using a bed sheet and I broke my wrist. I'm told my head bounced off the floor most spectacularly.
[So, like, should he. Should he do this. Don't call him out on climbing the walls again, only one call out per conversation is allowed.]
[Felix shouldn't find that as funny as he does. Really. Even he recognizes this, but as takes that bundle o' joy (re: his favorite swords) into his own arms, he studies Constantin's face for a moment before abruptly... turning away? He feels the corners of his lips turning upwards for the second time during this visit, but it's more attempting to hide the snort of what is clearly amusement. Listen! It's the mental image of baby Connie's head just... ricocheting...
...Aaaaah, well. He is indeed going to remain like this as he wraps his belt back around his waist, because he's still smiling and Constantin isn't allowed to See.]
How many stupid things did you do as a child?
[Asks the world's biggest crybaby. Like he didn't do stupid shit with his friends, but—shh.]
You won't break anything here.
[Except bruise a tailbone, maybe. Hmm. Clearly worth the risk, in Felix's opinion.]
[Oh? Look at him, thanks? Constantin will see another Felix smile(tm) by the end of this day or so help him... Or: goddamn it, he's going to get on this swing and it's going to be stupid, both when he doesn't know how to have fun on a swing and when he falls on his ass. Sigh! The things he does for this man!
But first, alright,] Plenty! And I might, if your handiwork isn't up to par.
[You know, the 800 knots up there in the tree... but fine! Fine, he will be a guinea pig for this swing, which means he sort of, like- shuffles over to it and gets onto it as uncomfortably as a grown man can. Jesus.
But no rope swing adventure in the backyard is complete without some Stupidity, so! Even though he feels like a moron, he holds his hand out to Felix with Determination. They are very lucky the children aren't here to witness this.]
[Hopefully at least one (1) child is peering out a window at this point in time! Someone other than Felix needs to witness this, because whew, but this is... a lot. So much. Even though Felix knows what's coming, when he finishes buckling his belt and turns back just in time to watch Constantin, like, clamber onto this rope...
Well! This, too, is funny, in a foolish sort of way. The sort of thing he normally avoids, but when Constantin holds out his hand, Felix finds himself reaching out to grab it without a second thought. If he thinks too much about this... everything will feel awkward, you know? Better to simply wrap his fingers around Constantin's as he offers him what he hopes is a small smirk. Maybe it's more of a smile than anything else, but again: do not @ him.]
So you can blame me when you get sick? No, thanks.
[But he isn't letting this opportunity go to waste, which is why he promptly pulls Constantin toward him, purposely not thinking about the lack of space between them before he abruptly... lets go of Constantin's hand. Goodbye, Connie. Enjoy suddenly swinging backwards.]
[Somewhere in the elusive Upstairs, Luther is witnessing his two dads do this stupid, stupid thing and rolling his youthful eyes. They deserve this fate, Constantin for starting it and Felix for playing along.
And that's, ah— well, Felix so immediately taking his hand is enough to throw Constantin off for a split second, despite asking him to do just this. It's the ease behind it, the no-second-thoughts nature of how simply Felix's fingers curl around his, and maybe this is the reason Constantin is going to bust his ass in record time, real soon. Maybe this is why!!]
Well, come now...
[Be reasonable!! He's cut off by being pulled so suddenly forward, which isn't what he asked for at all! Damn! He thinks about how close they are in those few seconds, a faint blush creeping across his cheeks before he's swinging backwards and scrambling to get a good hold on the rope. What the fuck! Dumped!]
Felix—
[Rude? Terrible man? It's just a rope swing, and it's not even like he's going particularly fast, but he's distracted just enough by his tender thoughts that this has become bullying. That and his balance is terrible on a moving rope... f in the chat for Constantin, who makes it about an arc and a half more before he predictably falls off onto his ass.]
[This has indeed become bullying, and Felix isn't the least bit sorry about it as he takes a step to the side and watches Constantin, like, sail through the air. He wanted to be spun about! This is the far less intensive alternative, so surely he can handle himself. Surely.
Surely not, apparently, and here is the thing: Constantin falls a full foot to the ground—harmless!—and for the first few seconds, all Felix can do is blink down at him in mild surprise. He fell off... a swing. This wall-climbing, prince-slash-governor fell off a swing, and as Felix recalls Constantin's tale from a minute or so before...
...Well. When is the last time Felix has seen something so silly? When is the last time Felix has allowed himself to be a part of something so silly? He holds himself apart from others as a general rule, tells himself (and anyone who asks) that he has neither the time nor the patience for such frivolities, but as Felix looks down at Constantin just sitting on the ground, he can't help it: he has to laugh. Shortly and quietly, yes, but it doesn't matter! It's still a genuine laugh—and it just so happens to be his first in this strange new world.
And maybe there's something more to be said about that, given how long he's been in this world, but it's whatever. Don't mind it. He's stepping forward soon enough, offering out a hand for Constantin to grab onto, should he want to pull himself back to his feet. Ah, this foolish man...]
Did you break anything?
[Falling right back on sarcasm, as though he's completely unaware of the smile he's sporting. Spoiler alert: he is.]
[Woe is Constantin, and more specifically woe is Constantin's tailbone, which is in dire straits and will provide many, many excuses for him to whine as much as he wants for the rest of the day. He's ready to start whining now, before Felix laughs at him. The nerve!
Or: the nerve, but oh; he's never heard Felix laugh before, and now he's very, very invested in hearing that again. His whining is forgotten, as is the color that's still high in his cheeks; how could his silly embarrassment compare to making Felix laugh... wow... Very nice.
Constantin scoffs as he takes Felix's hand to haul himself back upright. His back does hurt? Considerably? But he'll get over it. Probably.]
Just my pride.
[He waves his other hand as if to say, see? No broken wrists this time! And then, when he should logically let go of Felix's hand and move away, he simply doesn't; no, it feels much more right in the moment to stand there and look at him and appreciate this second rare smile, holding onto his hand in a loose grip between them.
After a moment he glances over his shoulder at the swing, ahem.]
That didn't break, either.
[Good job, babe!! This swing can support one (1) Idiot.]
[His pride! Alas! Or: Felix expresses his heartfelt condolences via a quiet hum, still amused by this show even as Constantin, like, openly studies him. He doesn't like being stared at; some tense part of him only truly relaxes once Constantin shifts his attention back to the still-swinging rope, but the overall mood is, as ever... nice. Just nice.
And that's totally why he doesn't bother to join Constantin in admiring the swing? Why he chooses instead to keep his eyes on the bit of Constantin's face he can still see, smile shrinking, softening, before he slowly slips his hand free. Emotions... gross...]
Good. Then you have nothing to complain about.
[Do not whine about your tailbone, Constantin D'Orsay. He Knows.]
[Oh Felix, don't be silly, he will find something to complain about. He gives Felix a look much to this effect, ready to be annoying later for fun, but also unmistakably fond. That's his grumpy man, who is definitely going to tolerate him... indeed.]
You did take it upon yourself to not do what I asked. [well, the stupid thing and not the handyman thing, so,] The second time.
[But please, turn and follow him back inside, because it's probably time to find Luther and see what best baby boy is up to. A few other children have definitely appeared to play with the twins, which means at least several of them are standing on tiptoe trying to peer out the back windows now that Felix 2 Swords is here. The legend is among them...]
Are you going to join us for afternoon snack? [like tea but for babies. he's very proud of this.] I do need to find Ragnar and let him know he's off the hook for the swing.
[Would Felix like Constantin half as much if he wasn't so willing to push back? Like, sure, complaining about trivial things is annoying, but as Felix rolls his eyes (of course he refused to spin him, because spinning him would have resulted in a grievous injury, they both know this) before once again allowing Constantin to lead him somewhere...
...Well, you know. They've settled into a routine, of sorts, and it's comfortable. Less comfortable are the, like, dozen eyes trained on him as they approach. He can feel them! Ugh! Time to bring a hand up to absently scrub at his face.]
Do I have a choice? [he grumbles, knowing that he really doesn't—and that he really doesn't mind.] As long as the snack isn't sweet.
[He Will Endure. But that sure is a child pressing their entire face to the glass as they approach? Felix gives them A Look.]
...Maybe I'll help this Ragnar paint the front door.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eldritch month
Two swords, [he says as he steps inside, gesturing down to their hilts.] Along with other things.
[Always be prepared, etc, etc—but as one twin excitedly elbows the other, Felix shifts his attention back up to Constantin, giving him a quick once-over as the corners of his lips just barely quirk upward. Time to step inside.]
Well? What else did you tell them not to say?
all of march is a single monday
Nothing at all, [he says, very believably. Of course he tells his many children cool stories about Felix, but please, do not ask him to self-roast about whatever dumb stuff he's said... whew.] If any of them ask you about squirrels, I certainly had no hand in that.
[Now come with him for the official tour... It's not a very big orphanage and it has seen better days, but it's also seen worse days, so things are looking up for everyone except Ragnar, who has definitely found the flower disaster now if the distant exclamation of despair is anything to go by. Ignore him...]
These two are Otto and Fritz, by the way. I told you about them.
[Significant gaze...... say something complimentary about these tiny terrors and make their whole fuckin week, Felix. Do it for him.]
you've never said a truer thing in your life
Hm. The troublemakers.
[That is not a disapproving tone? That is not a disapproving look he offers them? Their reputation precedes them—and as Felix studies them for a moment longer, considering just how much energy it takes to be a nuisance:]
They look strong enough. Someone should teach them to hunt. [Faerghus babies learn to hunt straight out the womb! Probably! It's Tradition™. But a beat, and then, because ya man just can't help it, Connie:] Squirrels are good for beginners.
[Listen!! It's been a week, and now that he's back with Constantin... he's in as good a mood as he can be.]
sad but true.....
Felix on the other hand is so lucky that Constantin has, hm, missed him very much? Do not roast him about squirrels, sir, but whew... He scoffs and bumps Felix's arm with his own, just barely hiding his embarrassing smile by striding forward quickly, to gesture them grandly into... a living room. It's a playroom/living room hybrid, with a smaller room visible beyond that appears to currently house several boxes of books. The twins continue their scuffle over to some toy swords, which actually are just sticks from the yard, and that's what they're doing for the next ten minutes now.
Constantin lingers by the doorway, watching Felix, barely containing the need to vibrate out of his skin while he waits for some kind of, like... overall response? Please rate and review this hallway, one room, and two kids, thank you. Well—]
I'm glad you came.
[ok NOW rate & review!!]
no subject
—well, you know. Let him just tuck that thought away as he looks back at Constantin, taking in the sight of him before pretending that something else in this room has caught his eye. He's not sentimental, do not @ him (and do not stare @ him), but it... has been a bit since they've seen one another.]
It's near Hesperia. And you did invite me.
[So he was obligated—except he wasn't and they both know it. Felix doesn't do anything Felix doesn't want to do, blah, blah, blah; he simply must be like this before he shifts his weight to one leg, pretending to take a bit longer to Consider things before he adds:]
You've... done well, [he says, sweeping his eyes about the room—cozy!—before they come to rest on those troublesome twins.] They seem happy.
[And he's sure the other children are happy, too. That is Important, because Felix is Soft.]
no subject
I should hope they are, [he says in his Exasperated Single Parent voice, before he softens near-immediately:] I would give them the world if I could, but I like to think I'm doing alright by them so far.
[With his cozy rooms and many in-progress repairs... He's trying! He doesn't know what he's doing, but it seems to be working out! Besides Ragnar's struggle, it seems to be working out.
And Felix is here to see it, which warms him in a now very familiar way, the simple pleasure of sharing this part of his life with, ah, another part of his life. Whew! He has to clasp his hands together behind his back before he does something untoward.]
Those two will be busy in here for a while yet, [and they Will want sword lessons later!] so what would you like to see next?
no subject
Far be it for Felix to get all Sentimental, in the comfort of his own mind, but hey: There is a warmth to this place, even though he's only seen, like, a tiny part of it. That's key. Constantin is doing swell, and as Felix looks back over at him, that hint of a smile becomes something... still small, yes, but undeniably real.]
Where are the rest of them? [Answering a question with a question, partly because he has no idea what Constantin would prefer to show off—but also because, as he leans slightly to the side to pointedly peer around Constantin:] I haven't seen your shadow.
[Lil Luther, of course. Did Felix intimidate him at first... surely they're on good terms now...]
no subject
Luther is upstairs, and he was very serious when he asked us to leave him be until he's ready.
[Which would be a concern like it was the last time Luther wanted to lock himself in his room, but it's fine, he's just preparing for Felix's grand visit. Give him twenty minutes.]
In the meantime, let me show you our prized installation... a rope swing in the back.
[Spoilers: it keeps falling down before anyone can use it. They need a strong man(tm) to fix this... Follow him to this rope sitting on the ground. Does he need to ask? He can ask, or they can just look at this rope on the ground in silence.]
no subject
Or, more accurately: a coil of rope sitting beneath a tree branch. Ah. They can indeed stare at it in silence for a moment—and then Felix is walking up to it to, like, nudge it with the toe of his boot. He's fairly certain what's expected of him here. He also knows that he's going to do it, both for the kids and for Constantin, but first: a flat look. Connie!]
You climbed a wall, [he points out, because he MUST,] but you won't climb a tree?
[Just ask him. It do indeed be like this.]
no subject
I'm setting a good example for the little ones!
[This is the face of a responsible adult(tm)... believe him.]
I was never very good at climbing trees, besides; I told you I grew up in the heart of the city. [Trees? In cluttered plague city? No. Anyway,] Would you help?
no subject
Climbing a tree is easier than climbing a wall.
[Grumble, grumble, grumble. But the buckles are undone soon enough, and after unwinding the thing from around his waist—hey? Hey. Felix holds the belt and the two (2) swords attached to it out for Connie to take, because like hell he's climbing a tree while his good swords clank against its trunk.]
Now I see why you invited me. [Free labor... nah, he's teasin', albeit in his rude way.] Hold these. Don't set them down.
[Respect them! Even if they are heavy! This is a sign of Trust...]
no subject
If you're going to make your little implications, I did want to have someone repaint the front door sometime soon.
[Haha just kidding...... unless? No, actually just kidding, Felix's free labor would be wasted on holding a paintbrush.
Constantin nods at the sad rope on the ground.]
Feel free to put my efforts to shame! I will make it worth your while.
no subject
How gracious of you. [A scoff!] Not that shaming you will be difficult. It hardly warrants a reward.
[He knows Constantin is probably talking about, like, a cup of pine needle tea—and you bet your ass he's going to accept it, but. They both know why he's doing this!
Anyway, Constantin gets to kick back and watch Felix, like, shimmy right up this tree, which is just thrilling. It's clear he's done this many a time? Something, something, hunters do what they need to do to land the perfect shot... and he's graceful, thanks to all of his training. He crawls to the middle of this branch as easily as a cat might, but please, don't make this comparison; as he drops one end of the rope to the ground, just tell him if it's properly centered. He's waiting. Expectantly.]
no subject
So, okay, there goes Felix... tiny man wriggling up this tree in his backyard, hmm, what an afternoon this is turning out to be... Constantin watches, shuffling back and forth a bit to give this rope a critical stare once Felix drops it down. Ah, he's never set up a swing, so...]
I suppose that looks alright.
no subject
Or: It's a process. He's taking it seriously. There's a good deal of grumbling, a fair amount of muttered curses‐but soon the rope swing is in place, and Felix slips back down the tree trunk, dusting his sleeves off once he's back on terra firma. He did an excellent job, he knows, thank you so much, but as he takes in his handiwork—]
Hm. [A noise of apparent approval, before he glances back at Connie.] Perhaps you should test it.
[He did his part, sir.]
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He holds the swords out for Felix to take back, but ah, what's this? Has he ever properly been on a swing in his life? No.]
I once tried to swing from the balustrade in my father's house using a bed sheet and I broke my wrist. I'm told my head bounced off the floor most spectacularly.
[So, like, should he. Should he do this. Don't call him out on climbing the walls again, only one call out per conversation is allowed.]
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...Aaaaah, well. He is indeed going to remain like this as he wraps his belt back around his waist, because he's still smiling and Constantin isn't allowed to See.]
How many stupid things did you do as a child?
[Asks the world's biggest crybaby. Like he didn't do stupid shit with his friends, but—shh.]
You won't break anything here.
[Except bruise a tailbone, maybe. Hmm. Clearly worth the risk, in Felix's opinion.]
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But first, alright,] Plenty! And I might, if your handiwork isn't up to par.
[You know, the 800 knots up there in the tree... but fine! Fine, he will be a guinea pig for this swing, which means he sort of, like- shuffles over to it and gets onto it as uncomfortably as a grown man can. Jesus.
But no rope swing adventure in the backyard is complete without some Stupidity, so! Even though he feels like a moron, he holds his hand out to Felix with Determination. They are very lucky the children aren't here to witness this.]
Spin me!
[what could go wrong??]
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Well! This, too, is funny, in a foolish sort of way. The sort of thing he normally avoids, but when Constantin holds out his hand, Felix finds himself reaching out to grab it without a second thought. If he thinks too much about this... everything will feel awkward, you know? Better to simply wrap his fingers around Constantin's as he offers him what he hopes is a small smirk. Maybe it's more of a smile than anything else, but again: do not @ him.]
So you can blame me when you get sick? No, thanks.
[But he isn't letting this opportunity go to waste, which is why he promptly pulls Constantin toward him, purposely not thinking about the lack of space between them before he abruptly... lets go of Constantin's hand. Goodbye, Connie. Enjoy suddenly swinging backwards.]
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And that's, ah— well, Felix so immediately taking his hand is enough to throw Constantin off for a split second, despite asking him to do just this. It's the ease behind it, the no-second-thoughts nature of how simply Felix's fingers curl around his, and maybe this is the reason Constantin is going to bust his ass in record time, real soon. Maybe this is why!!]
Well, come now...
[Be reasonable!! He's cut off by being pulled so suddenly forward, which isn't what he asked for at all! Damn! He thinks about how close they are in those few seconds, a faint blush creeping across his cheeks before he's swinging backwards and scrambling to get a good hold on the rope. What the fuck! Dumped!]
Felix—
[Rude? Terrible man? It's just a rope swing, and it's not even like he's going particularly fast, but he's distracted just enough by his tender thoughts that this has become bullying. That and his balance is terrible on a moving rope... f in the chat for Constantin, who makes it about an arc and a half more before he predictably falls off onto his ass.]
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Surely not, apparently, and here is the thing: Constantin falls a full foot to the ground—harmless!—and for the first few seconds, all Felix can do is blink down at him in mild surprise. He fell off... a swing. This wall-climbing, prince-slash-governor fell off a swing, and as Felix recalls Constantin's tale from a minute or so before...
...Well. When is the last time Felix has seen something so silly? When is the last time Felix has allowed himself to be a part of something so silly? He holds himself apart from others as a general rule, tells himself (and anyone who asks) that he has neither the time nor the patience for such frivolities, but as Felix looks down at Constantin just sitting on the ground, he can't help it: he has to laugh. Shortly and quietly, yes, but it doesn't matter! It's still a genuine laugh—and it just so happens to be his first in this strange new world.
And maybe there's something more to be said about that, given how long he's been in this world, but it's whatever. Don't mind it. He's stepping forward soon enough, offering out a hand for Constantin to grab onto, should he want to pull himself back to his feet. Ah, this foolish man...]
Did you break anything?
[Falling right back on sarcasm, as though he's completely unaware of the smile he's sporting. Spoiler alert: he is.]
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Or: the nerve, but oh; he's never heard Felix laugh before, and now he's very, very invested in hearing that again. His whining is forgotten, as is the color that's still high in his cheeks; how could his silly embarrassment compare to making Felix laugh... wow... Very nice.
Constantin scoffs as he takes Felix's hand to haul himself back upright. His back does hurt? Considerably? But he'll get over it. Probably.]
Just my pride.
[He waves his other hand as if to say, see? No broken wrists this time! And then, when he should logically let go of Felix's hand and move away, he simply doesn't; no, it feels much more right in the moment to stand there and look at him and appreciate this second rare smile, holding onto his hand in a loose grip between them.
After a moment he glances over his shoulder at the swing, ahem.]
That didn't break, either.
[Good job, babe!! This swing can support one (1) Idiot.]
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And that's totally why he doesn't bother to join Constantin in admiring the swing? Why he chooses instead to keep his eyes on the bit of Constantin's face he can still see, smile shrinking, softening, before he slowly slips his hand free. Emotions... gross...]
Good. Then you have nothing to complain about.
[Do not whine about your tailbone, Constantin D'Orsay. He Knows.]
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You did take it upon yourself to not do what I asked. [well, the stupid thing and not the handyman thing, so,] The second time.
[But please, turn and follow him back inside, because it's probably time to find Luther and see what best baby boy is up to. A few other children have definitely appeared to play with the twins, which means at least several of them are standing on tiptoe trying to peer out the back windows now that Felix 2 Swords is here. The legend is among them...]
Are you going to join us for afternoon snack? [like tea but for babies. he's very proud of this.] I do need to find Ragnar and let him know he's off the hook for the swing.
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...Well, you know. They've settled into a routine, of sorts, and it's comfortable. Less comfortable are the, like, dozen eyes trained on him as they approach. He can feel them! Ugh! Time to bring a hand up to absently scrub at his face.]
Do I have a choice? [he grumbles, knowing that he really doesn't—and that he really doesn't mind.] As long as the snack isn't sweet.
[He Will Endure. But that sure is a child pressing their entire face to the glass as they approach? Felix gives them A Look.]
...Maybe I'll help this Ragnar paint the front door.
[He's KIDDING! Mostly.]
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