[What does it take to make children happy? It's a simple question with, like, a billion possible answers, but as Felix listens to the twins squabble somewhere off to the side... hmm. The most important thing, he thinks, is that they know someone genuinely cares for them, and Felix doesn't doubt that Constantin does. Give these kids the world, huh... well, given the world in which they live...
Far be it for Felix to get all Sentimental, in the comfort of his own mind, but hey: There is a warmth to this place, even though he's only seen, like, a tiny part of it. That's key. Constantin is doing swell, and as Felix looks back over at him, that hint of a smile becomes something... still small, yes, but undeniably real.]
Where are the rest of them? [Answering a question with a question, partly because he has no idea what Constantin would prefer to show off—but also because, as he leans slightly to the side to pointedly peer around Constantin:] I haven't seen your shadow.
[Lil Luther, of course. Did Felix intimidate him at first... surely they're on good terms now...]
[That tiny smile almost makes up for not seeing Felix for a week. Almost! Constantin needs at least two more Felix smiles to be satisfied, but the day is young. He chuckles, waving a hand at Felix to stop that, lord... not in front of the wild boys.]
Luther is upstairs, and he was very serious when he asked us to leave him be until he's ready.
[Which would be a concern like it was the last time Luther wanted to lock himself in his room, but it's fine, he's just preparing for Felix's grand visit. Give him twenty minutes.]
In the meantime, let me show you our prized installation... a rope swing in the back.
[Spoilers: it keeps falling down before anyone can use it. They need a strong man(tm) to fix this... Follow him to this rope sitting on the ground. Does he need to ask? He can ask, or they can just look at this rope on the ground in silence.]
[Oh, boy. Well, whatever Luther is doing is Luther's business, and thus Felix isn't about to ask fifty questions or even consider invading his space; he simply straightens back up and, after giving the twins one last look—the energy, holy shit—follows right after Constantin. A rope swing...
Or, more accurately: a coil of rope sitting beneath a tree branch. Ah. They can indeed stare at it in silence for a moment—and then Felix is walking up to it to, like, nudge it with the toe of his boot. He's fairly certain what's expected of him here. He also knows that he's going to do it, both for the kids and for Constantin, but first: a flat look. Connie!]
You climbed a wall, [he points out, because he MUST,] but you won't climb a tree?
[Wow, don't just put him on blast like that. Constantin shrugs, because of course Felix doing this thing for him is a done deal, please— but alright, alright! Maybe that's a fair point.]
I'm setting a good example for the little ones!
[This is the face of a responsible adult(tm)... believe him.]
I was never very good at climbing trees, besides; I told you I grew up in the heart of the city. [Trees? In cluttered plague city? No. Anyway,] Would you help?
[A good example? Ridiculous, which is why Felix snorts before shifting his attention back down to the rope. Maybe he'd buy Connie's City Boy Excuse™ if he didn't, you know, climb a wall, but it's not like it matters; Felix is just obligated to be a pain, even as he reaches down to begin unbuckling his stupid sword belt.]
Climbing a tree is easier than climbing a wall.
[Grumble, grumble, grumble. But the buckles are undone soon enough, and after unwinding the thing from around his waist—hey? Hey. Felix holds the belt and the two (2) swords attached to it out for Connie to take, because like hell he's climbing a tree while his good swords clank against its trunk.]
Now I see why you invited me. [Free labor... nah, he's teasin', albeit in his rude way.] Hold these. Don't set them down.
[Respect them! Even if they are heavy! This is a sign of Trust...]
[Oh, he has to hold something heavy? Never mind, swing is canceled... No, he's got these-- does he make a face at how heavy they are? He does; one sword is heavy enough and this is excessive, but whatever! He's got it! He shifts them around until he's more or less hugging the whole thing to his chest, which is the best he can do if he has to hold these for A While.]
If you're going to make your little implications, I did want to have someone repaint the front door sometime soon.
[Haha just kidding...... unless? No, actually just kidding, Felix's free labor would be wasted on holding a paintbrush.
Constantin nods at the sad rope on the ground.]
Feel free to put my efforts to shame! I will make it worth your while.
[What does he look like, Connie? A handyman? ...Actually, don't answer that; just enjoy this mild Look before Felix does indeed pick up the rope, quickly coiling it around his shoulder. Time to climb this tree! Which should be simple enough, given both its size and conveniently placed branches, so....]
How gracious of you. [A scoff!] Not that shaming you will be difficult. It hardly warrants a reward.
[He knows Constantin is probably talking about, like, a cup of pine needle tea—and you bet your ass he's going to accept it, but. They both know why he's doing this!
Anyway, Constantin gets to kick back and watch Felix, like, shimmy right up this tree, which is just thrilling. It's clear he's done this many a time? Something, something, hunters do what they need to do to land the perfect shot... and he's graceful, thanks to all of his training. He crawls to the middle of this branch as easily as a cat might, but please, don't make this comparison; as he drops one end of the rope to the ground, just tell him if it's properly centered. He's waiting. Expectantly.]
[Must this small man complain about being rewarded... Constantin gives him a Look of his own, since his hands are occupied and can't dismissively wave away his grumbling; shush, there will be tea, and it will be delicious (for Felix only), and he will just have to accept Constantin's urge to spoil him with awful tea for doing him this one favor. Very simple!
So, okay, there goes Felix... tiny man wriggling up this tree in his backyard, hmm, what an afternoon this is turning out to be... Constantin watches, shuffling back and forth a bit to give this rope a critical stare once Felix drops it down. Ah, he's never set up a swing, so...]
[He can't just be nice? Duh. :\ But it isn't as though he has any more, ah, rope swing experience than Constantin, so is this knot he soon finds himself tying even going stand the test that is Rambunctious Children? Who knows. He'll just add an extra knot... and then another knot... and then loop it all back around for another knot...
Or: It's a process. He's taking it seriously. There's a good deal of grumbling, a fair amount of muttered curses‐but soon the rope swing is in place, and Felix slips back down the tree trunk, dusting his sleeves off once he's back on terra firma. He did an excellent job, he knows, thank you so much, but as he takes in his handiwork—]
Hm. [A noise of apparent approval, before he glances back at Connie.] Perhaps you should test it.
[It's close to the ground, they'll be fine... Surely... Constantin has seen the twins, at least, smack each other around and keep on trucking, so surely!! It's fine.
He holds the swords out for Felix to take back, but ah, what's this? Has he ever properly been on a swing in his life? No.]
I once tried to swing from the balustrade in my father's house using a bed sheet and I broke my wrist. I'm told my head bounced off the floor most spectacularly.
[So, like, should he. Should he do this. Don't call him out on climbing the walls again, only one call out per conversation is allowed.]
[Felix shouldn't find that as funny as he does. Really. Even he recognizes this, but as takes that bundle o' joy (re: his favorite swords) into his own arms, he studies Constantin's face for a moment before abruptly... turning away? He feels the corners of his lips turning upwards for the second time during this visit, but it's more attempting to hide the snort of what is clearly amusement. Listen! It's the mental image of baby Connie's head just... ricocheting...
...Aaaaah, well. He is indeed going to remain like this as he wraps his belt back around his waist, because he's still smiling and Constantin isn't allowed to See.]
How many stupid things did you do as a child?
[Asks the world's biggest crybaby. Like he didn't do stupid shit with his friends, but—shh.]
You won't break anything here.
[Except bruise a tailbone, maybe. Hmm. Clearly worth the risk, in Felix's opinion.]
[Oh? Look at him, thanks? Constantin will see another Felix smile(tm) by the end of this day or so help him... Or: goddamn it, he's going to get on this swing and it's going to be stupid, both when he doesn't know how to have fun on a swing and when he falls on his ass. Sigh! The things he does for this man!
But first, alright,] Plenty! And I might, if your handiwork isn't up to par.
[You know, the 800 knots up there in the tree... but fine! Fine, he will be a guinea pig for this swing, which means he sort of, like- shuffles over to it and gets onto it as uncomfortably as a grown man can. Jesus.
But no rope swing adventure in the backyard is complete without some Stupidity, so! Even though he feels like a moron, he holds his hand out to Felix with Determination. They are very lucky the children aren't here to witness this.]
[Hopefully at least one (1) child is peering out a window at this point in time! Someone other than Felix needs to witness this, because whew, but this is... a lot. So much. Even though Felix knows what's coming, when he finishes buckling his belt and turns back just in time to watch Constantin, like, clamber onto this rope...
Well! This, too, is funny, in a foolish sort of way. The sort of thing he normally avoids, but when Constantin holds out his hand, Felix finds himself reaching out to grab it without a second thought. If he thinks too much about this... everything will feel awkward, you know? Better to simply wrap his fingers around Constantin's as he offers him what he hopes is a small smirk. Maybe it's more of a smile than anything else, but again: do not @ him.]
So you can blame me when you get sick? No, thanks.
[But he isn't letting this opportunity go to waste, which is why he promptly pulls Constantin toward him, purposely not thinking about the lack of space between them before he abruptly... lets go of Constantin's hand. Goodbye, Connie. Enjoy suddenly swinging backwards.]
[Somewhere in the elusive Upstairs, Luther is witnessing his two dads do this stupid, stupid thing and rolling his youthful eyes. They deserve this fate, Constantin for starting it and Felix for playing along.
And that's, ah— well, Felix so immediately taking his hand is enough to throw Constantin off for a split second, despite asking him to do just this. It's the ease behind it, the no-second-thoughts nature of how simply Felix's fingers curl around his, and maybe this is the reason Constantin is going to bust his ass in record time, real soon. Maybe this is why!!]
Well, come now...
[Be reasonable!! He's cut off by being pulled so suddenly forward, which isn't what he asked for at all! Damn! He thinks about how close they are in those few seconds, a faint blush creeping across his cheeks before he's swinging backwards and scrambling to get a good hold on the rope. What the fuck! Dumped!]
Felix—
[Rude? Terrible man? It's just a rope swing, and it's not even like he's going particularly fast, but he's distracted just enough by his tender thoughts that this has become bullying. That and his balance is terrible on a moving rope... f in the chat for Constantin, who makes it about an arc and a half more before he predictably falls off onto his ass.]
[This has indeed become bullying, and Felix isn't the least bit sorry about it as he takes a step to the side and watches Constantin, like, sail through the air. He wanted to be spun about! This is the far less intensive alternative, so surely he can handle himself. Surely.
Surely not, apparently, and here is the thing: Constantin falls a full foot to the ground—harmless!—and for the first few seconds, all Felix can do is blink down at him in mild surprise. He fell off... a swing. This wall-climbing, prince-slash-governor fell off a swing, and as Felix recalls Constantin's tale from a minute or so before...
...Well. When is the last time Felix has seen something so silly? When is the last time Felix has allowed himself to be a part of something so silly? He holds himself apart from others as a general rule, tells himself (and anyone who asks) that he has neither the time nor the patience for such frivolities, but as Felix looks down at Constantin just sitting on the ground, he can't help it: he has to laugh. Shortly and quietly, yes, but it doesn't matter! It's still a genuine laugh—and it just so happens to be his first in this strange new world.
And maybe there's something more to be said about that, given how long he's been in this world, but it's whatever. Don't mind it. He's stepping forward soon enough, offering out a hand for Constantin to grab onto, should he want to pull himself back to his feet. Ah, this foolish man...]
Did you break anything?
[Falling right back on sarcasm, as though he's completely unaware of the smile he's sporting. Spoiler alert: he is.]
[Woe is Constantin, and more specifically woe is Constantin's tailbone, which is in dire straits and will provide many, many excuses for him to whine as much as he wants for the rest of the day. He's ready to start whining now, before Felix laughs at him. The nerve!
Or: the nerve, but oh; he's never heard Felix laugh before, and now he's very, very invested in hearing that again. His whining is forgotten, as is the color that's still high in his cheeks; how could his silly embarrassment compare to making Felix laugh... wow... Very nice.
Constantin scoffs as he takes Felix's hand to haul himself back upright. His back does hurt? Considerably? But he'll get over it. Probably.]
Just my pride.
[He waves his other hand as if to say, see? No broken wrists this time! And then, when he should logically let go of Felix's hand and move away, he simply doesn't; no, it feels much more right in the moment to stand there and look at him and appreciate this second rare smile, holding onto his hand in a loose grip between them.
After a moment he glances over his shoulder at the swing, ahem.]
That didn't break, either.
[Good job, babe!! This swing can support one (1) Idiot.]
[His pride! Alas! Or: Felix expresses his heartfelt condolences via a quiet hum, still amused by this show even as Constantin, like, openly studies him. He doesn't like being stared at; some tense part of him only truly relaxes once Constantin shifts his attention back to the still-swinging rope, but the overall mood is, as ever... nice. Just nice.
And that's totally why he doesn't bother to join Constantin in admiring the swing? Why he chooses instead to keep his eyes on the bit of Constantin's face he can still see, smile shrinking, softening, before he slowly slips his hand free. Emotions... gross...]
Good. Then you have nothing to complain about.
[Do not whine about your tailbone, Constantin D'Orsay. He Knows.]
[Oh Felix, don't be silly, he will find something to complain about. He gives Felix a look much to this effect, ready to be annoying later for fun, but also unmistakably fond. That's his grumpy man, who is definitely going to tolerate him... indeed.]
You did take it upon yourself to not do what I asked. [well, the stupid thing and not the handyman thing, so,] The second time.
[But please, turn and follow him back inside, because it's probably time to find Luther and see what best baby boy is up to. A few other children have definitely appeared to play with the twins, which means at least several of them are standing on tiptoe trying to peer out the back windows now that Felix 2 Swords is here. The legend is among them...]
Are you going to join us for afternoon snack? [like tea but for babies. he's very proud of this.] I do need to find Ragnar and let him know he's off the hook for the swing.
[Would Felix like Constantin half as much if he wasn't so willing to push back? Like, sure, complaining about trivial things is annoying, but as Felix rolls his eyes (of course he refused to spin him, because spinning him would have resulted in a grievous injury, they both know this) before once again allowing Constantin to lead him somewhere...
...Well, you know. They've settled into a routine, of sorts, and it's comfortable. Less comfortable are the, like, dozen eyes trained on him as they approach. He can feel them! Ugh! Time to bring a hand up to absently scrub at his face.]
Do I have a choice? [he grumbles, knowing that he really doesn't—and that he really doesn't mind.] As long as the snack isn't sweet.
[He Will Endure. But that sure is a child pressing their entire face to the glass as they approach? Felix gives them A Look.]
...Maybe I'll help this Ragnar paint the front door.
[Spin him, punk. Constantin will have his demands met one of these days. For now he leads them back to the orphanage, watching these shameless kids not even try to pretend they're not staring at Felix... He has raised them well. There is no shame in this house.]
I'll ask for some crackers for you, [he says, gesturing for Felix to go in ahead of him, which will definitely end in Felix being followed by a bunch of little kids. They are in awe of this sword man... Constantin takes a quick look around once they're back inside, doing a headcount.]
Wait here and I'll find him and Luther.
[And... bye! Enjoy these several minutes spent with The Children, while Constantin goes off. Not pictured: Ragnar telling Constantin that Felix, by association with his horse, is the worst person to ever breathe, and Constantin making a quick detour upstairs to fetch his favorite son and usher him down. Ragnar's continued complaints can probably be heard faintly in the background...
Anyway, he's back! With baby.]
You've charmed Ragnar irreparably. He'll be a minute.
[In the meantime, he very casually nudges Luther forward; Luther in turn shuffles his way over to Felix and staunchly without looking at him, holds out a sheet of paper. Has this child drawn Felix a picture? Is it (supposedly) a drawing of Luther and his dads in Kyst? Well these brown boxy things are probably buildings, so: yes and yes. Take this.]
[Damn, Constantin, but how is Felix supposed to complain about crackers when he's suddenly surrounded by wide-eyed children? Spoiler alert: Felix doesn't. Felix can't, because before he can make so much as a single disgruntled noise—oh. Hmm. He is suddenly the only adult in the room, blinking down at the gaggle of children blinking up at him. It's one thing to hear about a stranger; it's another thing to come face-to-face with him, and thus some of the children are content to hang back.
...But not the twins. The twins, emboldened by being Known as troublemakers, bound forward, waving their sticks about and asking Felix fifty questions at once. Which sword is the sharpest? What other weapons did he bring? How many monsters has he killed? Utterly ridiculous things that Felix normally scoffs at, but as some of the quieter children press closer, curiosity triumphing over wariness...
Well, by the time Constantin wanders back into the room with Luther in tow, it's like this: Fritz (maybe Otto?) is holding his stick-slash-sword in front of him, watching as Otto (maybe Fritz?) brings his stick-slash-sword around in a slow, smooth, Felix-instructed arc to smack against it. The other kids are watching from the sidelines, so hey, it's cool? It's fine? We are all Learning here, thanks, even as Felix shoots Connie a quick look. Whomst? ...Oh, right.]
I haven't met him. [And he Does Not Care about this stranger's opinion, clearly, which is why he looks back down at Fritz (maybe Otto?).] Always block with the flat of your blade. Understand?
[Of course they understand. They're going to spend the rest of this fine afternoon smacking the shit out of one another, and Felix sees absolutely nothing wrong with it—but oh, hello, Luther. Felix offers him a nod of greeting before the boy heads over to him, holding out that piece of paper that Felix carefully takes. The other kids are torn between watching the twins and watching Felix; it's loud and chaotic and exactly what a room full of kids should be, but as Felix takes in this drawing, all other distractions temporarily fall to the wayside. A small figure flanked by two taller ones. Well, one is Constantin, naturally, but the one with the sharp scowl...]
That's— me? [A glance up at Luther, who nods, before Felix shifts his attention back down to the paper.] ...Right. Two swords.
[Two very carefully drawn lines. ...How do you praise a child? Hell if Felix knows, but after staring down at this picture for a few seconds longer, Felix looks back up at Luther before reaching out to, like... pat him on his shoulder. Gently. He never liked when others abruptly ruffled his hair, so maybe it's the same for this small human.]
...Thank you.
[Constantin, please appreciate this tender moment—but also help him, because Goddess above, but where does one go from here. Luther caught him off guard! He is defenseless! This is cheating.]
[Hmm, this is the most tender thing Constantin has ever witnessed? He may die over here in the doorway, where he's chosen to linger while Felix is mobbed by curious children. He'll come to Felix's rescue in a moment, of course, but it's way more than endearing to watch him, ah, teach the twins how to hit each other properly... Look! It's cute! It's all very cute, Luther's bumbling gift giving and Felix's equally bumbling affection included, and Constantin is content to lean against the door frame and just watch. At some point Ragnar appears at his elbow and Constantin hastily motions for him to please contain his complaints for a minute, there's something adorable happening...
Or, actually, hold on— he will turn and listen to Ragnar's hasty complaints, all muttered while passing him a tray of Afternoon Snacks and promising he will be back with some water in a moment, leaving Constantin to finally come to the rescue if only to put the snacks down on a little crafts table and wag a finger at a child instantly more interested in food than grumpy sword man. Patience is a virtue, etc.
Then, helpfully, to Felix:]
I think he captured your essence.
[Two swords? Scowl? That's the Felixperience(tm)! And Constantin's appearance is all Luther needs to nod at Felix again and then hustle away to stand next to the other dad. He does not cling because the twins would be, well, the twins about it, but he does linger. A successful Felix interaction...? Yes.]
Ragnar says you've spoiled his whole garden. What did you do?
[Thank goodness there's now something in this room that's marginally more interesting than Felix himself! Most of the children hurry over to the snack table, eager to see what they'll be enjoying today, and Felix is free to look over this picture for a bit longer. He is... touched? Oh, but he is touched, as evidenced by the way his expression softens the slightest bit.
But that doesn't mean he's about to be all open about it, so when Constantin addresses him—ah! Well. He glances over at him, humming in wry acknowledgement—and straightening up as he's reminded of the, ah, distinct difference between his stick figure's height and Constantin's stick figure's height. He's not that much shorter, Luther... damn...]
I didn't— [A beat, as things click in place. A sigh. A hand once again coming up to scrub against his face, because oh, dear.] ...Dorte.
[Problem Child #2! Thanks, Marianne.]
A horse. From my world. He eats everything. [Hmm—] I didn't know the flowers would be a problem.
[And he's not concerned with Dorte's welfare, because Dorte the War Horse can and will take care of himself.]
Your horse ate my garden? Where did you leave him?
[Surely Felix wouldn't tie his horse right next to the flower garden, right? Surely he wouldn't do that. That would be silly, at best.
But since Felix surely didn't do that, Constantin gives him one last look before, like, extracting himself from the mob of children to make his way over to the Grown Up Seating, which is a beat up old couch. It's comfortable, if a little lumpy. It's snack time, so pop a squat, mister!! There's no getting out of this one!]
Well, hold onto that picture, [like he's not super soft for it, ha ha] and I'll find you something to hold it in later.
[Like a folder... or a clipboard. It needs to be safely transported home so he can frame it. And oh,]
Ah- and I promised I would make it worth your while for helping with the swing! I owe you a cup of tea. Later.
[Listen, Connie, maybe Felix had other things on his mind! Maybe Felix was too busy thinking about gaggles of children to consider that flowers are, in fact, Dorte's favorite snack. They're only plants, right... they grow back...
Or: Felix is stupid, and thus Felix only offers up a stiff shrug before he does indeed drop onto this lumpy couch. The picture is safe and sound atop his lap; he resists the urge to keep looking down at it like an idiot, because yes, he is charmed by it. It's like... one of Annette's silly songs? It's sweet.
Speaking of sweet things:]
Tea, [he repeats, blinking down at the picture after all as he briefly considers how long he intends to stay. It isn't as though he made any other plans, so. Hmm.] I see. Almyran Pine would be... appreciated.
[His awkward way of saying he'd quite like to enjoy evening teatime with Connie, all while he stares down at their stick-figure likenesses. Ah. The warmth is back—or, more accurately, the warmth never left, because the warmth is always there; it only intensifies when he glances back Connie's way.]
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Far be it for Felix to get all Sentimental, in the comfort of his own mind, but hey: There is a warmth to this place, even though he's only seen, like, a tiny part of it. That's key. Constantin is doing swell, and as Felix looks back over at him, that hint of a smile becomes something... still small, yes, but undeniably real.]
Where are the rest of them? [Answering a question with a question, partly because he has no idea what Constantin would prefer to show off—but also because, as he leans slightly to the side to pointedly peer around Constantin:] I haven't seen your shadow.
[Lil Luther, of course. Did Felix intimidate him at first... surely they're on good terms now...]
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Luther is upstairs, and he was very serious when he asked us to leave him be until he's ready.
[Which would be a concern like it was the last time Luther wanted to lock himself in his room, but it's fine, he's just preparing for Felix's grand visit. Give him twenty minutes.]
In the meantime, let me show you our prized installation... a rope swing in the back.
[Spoilers: it keeps falling down before anyone can use it. They need a strong man(tm) to fix this... Follow him to this rope sitting on the ground. Does he need to ask? He can ask, or they can just look at this rope on the ground in silence.]
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Or, more accurately: a coil of rope sitting beneath a tree branch. Ah. They can indeed stare at it in silence for a moment—and then Felix is walking up to it to, like, nudge it with the toe of his boot. He's fairly certain what's expected of him here. He also knows that he's going to do it, both for the kids and for Constantin, but first: a flat look. Connie!]
You climbed a wall, [he points out, because he MUST,] but you won't climb a tree?
[Just ask him. It do indeed be like this.]
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I'm setting a good example for the little ones!
[This is the face of a responsible adult(tm)... believe him.]
I was never very good at climbing trees, besides; I told you I grew up in the heart of the city. [Trees? In cluttered plague city? No. Anyway,] Would you help?
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Climbing a tree is easier than climbing a wall.
[Grumble, grumble, grumble. But the buckles are undone soon enough, and after unwinding the thing from around his waist—hey? Hey. Felix holds the belt and the two (2) swords attached to it out for Connie to take, because like hell he's climbing a tree while his good swords clank against its trunk.]
Now I see why you invited me. [Free labor... nah, he's teasin', albeit in his rude way.] Hold these. Don't set them down.
[Respect them! Even if they are heavy! This is a sign of Trust...]
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If you're going to make your little implications, I did want to have someone repaint the front door sometime soon.
[Haha just kidding...... unless? No, actually just kidding, Felix's free labor would be wasted on holding a paintbrush.
Constantin nods at the sad rope on the ground.]
Feel free to put my efforts to shame! I will make it worth your while.
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How gracious of you. [A scoff!] Not that shaming you will be difficult. It hardly warrants a reward.
[He knows Constantin is probably talking about, like, a cup of pine needle tea—and you bet your ass he's going to accept it, but. They both know why he's doing this!
Anyway, Constantin gets to kick back and watch Felix, like, shimmy right up this tree, which is just thrilling. It's clear he's done this many a time? Something, something, hunters do what they need to do to land the perfect shot... and he's graceful, thanks to all of his training. He crawls to the middle of this branch as easily as a cat might, but please, don't make this comparison; as he drops one end of the rope to the ground, just tell him if it's properly centered. He's waiting. Expectantly.]
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So, okay, there goes Felix... tiny man wriggling up this tree in his backyard, hmm, what an afternoon this is turning out to be... Constantin watches, shuffling back and forth a bit to give this rope a critical stare once Felix drops it down. Ah, he's never set up a swing, so...]
I suppose that looks alright.
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Or: It's a process. He's taking it seriously. There's a good deal of grumbling, a fair amount of muttered curses‐but soon the rope swing is in place, and Felix slips back down the tree trunk, dusting his sleeves off once he's back on terra firma. He did an excellent job, he knows, thank you so much, but as he takes in his handiwork—]
Hm. [A noise of apparent approval, before he glances back at Connie.] Perhaps you should test it.
[He did his part, sir.]
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He holds the swords out for Felix to take back, but ah, what's this? Has he ever properly been on a swing in his life? No.]
I once tried to swing from the balustrade in my father's house using a bed sheet and I broke my wrist. I'm told my head bounced off the floor most spectacularly.
[So, like, should he. Should he do this. Don't call him out on climbing the walls again, only one call out per conversation is allowed.]
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...Aaaaah, well. He is indeed going to remain like this as he wraps his belt back around his waist, because he's still smiling and Constantin isn't allowed to See.]
How many stupid things did you do as a child?
[Asks the world's biggest crybaby. Like he didn't do stupid shit with his friends, but—shh.]
You won't break anything here.
[Except bruise a tailbone, maybe. Hmm. Clearly worth the risk, in Felix's opinion.]
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But first, alright,] Plenty! And I might, if your handiwork isn't up to par.
[You know, the 800 knots up there in the tree... but fine! Fine, he will be a guinea pig for this swing, which means he sort of, like- shuffles over to it and gets onto it as uncomfortably as a grown man can. Jesus.
But no rope swing adventure in the backyard is complete without some Stupidity, so! Even though he feels like a moron, he holds his hand out to Felix with Determination. They are very lucky the children aren't here to witness this.]
Spin me!
[what could go wrong??]
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Well! This, too, is funny, in a foolish sort of way. The sort of thing he normally avoids, but when Constantin holds out his hand, Felix finds himself reaching out to grab it without a second thought. If he thinks too much about this... everything will feel awkward, you know? Better to simply wrap his fingers around Constantin's as he offers him what he hopes is a small smirk. Maybe it's more of a smile than anything else, but again: do not @ him.]
So you can blame me when you get sick? No, thanks.
[But he isn't letting this opportunity go to waste, which is why he promptly pulls Constantin toward him, purposely not thinking about the lack of space between them before he abruptly... lets go of Constantin's hand. Goodbye, Connie. Enjoy suddenly swinging backwards.]
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And that's, ah— well, Felix so immediately taking his hand is enough to throw Constantin off for a split second, despite asking him to do just this. It's the ease behind it, the no-second-thoughts nature of how simply Felix's fingers curl around his, and maybe this is the reason Constantin is going to bust his ass in record time, real soon. Maybe this is why!!]
Well, come now...
[Be reasonable!! He's cut off by being pulled so suddenly forward, which isn't what he asked for at all! Damn! He thinks about how close they are in those few seconds, a faint blush creeping across his cheeks before he's swinging backwards and scrambling to get a good hold on the rope. What the fuck! Dumped!]
Felix—
[Rude? Terrible man? It's just a rope swing, and it's not even like he's going particularly fast, but he's distracted just enough by his tender thoughts that this has become bullying. That and his balance is terrible on a moving rope... f in the chat for Constantin, who makes it about an arc and a half more before he predictably falls off onto his ass.]
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Surely not, apparently, and here is the thing: Constantin falls a full foot to the ground—harmless!—and for the first few seconds, all Felix can do is blink down at him in mild surprise. He fell off... a swing. This wall-climbing, prince-slash-governor fell off a swing, and as Felix recalls Constantin's tale from a minute or so before...
...Well. When is the last time Felix has seen something so silly? When is the last time Felix has allowed himself to be a part of something so silly? He holds himself apart from others as a general rule, tells himself (and anyone who asks) that he has neither the time nor the patience for such frivolities, but as Felix looks down at Constantin just sitting on the ground, he can't help it: he has to laugh. Shortly and quietly, yes, but it doesn't matter! It's still a genuine laugh—and it just so happens to be his first in this strange new world.
And maybe there's something more to be said about that, given how long he's been in this world, but it's whatever. Don't mind it. He's stepping forward soon enough, offering out a hand for Constantin to grab onto, should he want to pull himself back to his feet. Ah, this foolish man...]
Did you break anything?
[Falling right back on sarcasm, as though he's completely unaware of the smile he's sporting. Spoiler alert: he is.]
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Or: the nerve, but oh; he's never heard Felix laugh before, and now he's very, very invested in hearing that again. His whining is forgotten, as is the color that's still high in his cheeks; how could his silly embarrassment compare to making Felix laugh... wow... Very nice.
Constantin scoffs as he takes Felix's hand to haul himself back upright. His back does hurt? Considerably? But he'll get over it. Probably.]
Just my pride.
[He waves his other hand as if to say, see? No broken wrists this time! And then, when he should logically let go of Felix's hand and move away, he simply doesn't; no, it feels much more right in the moment to stand there and look at him and appreciate this second rare smile, holding onto his hand in a loose grip between them.
After a moment he glances over his shoulder at the swing, ahem.]
That didn't break, either.
[Good job, babe!! This swing can support one (1) Idiot.]
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And that's totally why he doesn't bother to join Constantin in admiring the swing? Why he chooses instead to keep his eyes on the bit of Constantin's face he can still see, smile shrinking, softening, before he slowly slips his hand free. Emotions... gross...]
Good. Then you have nothing to complain about.
[Do not whine about your tailbone, Constantin D'Orsay. He Knows.]
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You did take it upon yourself to not do what I asked. [well, the stupid thing and not the handyman thing, so,] The second time.
[But please, turn and follow him back inside, because it's probably time to find Luther and see what best baby boy is up to. A few other children have definitely appeared to play with the twins, which means at least several of them are standing on tiptoe trying to peer out the back windows now that Felix 2 Swords is here. The legend is among them...]
Are you going to join us for afternoon snack? [like tea but for babies. he's very proud of this.] I do need to find Ragnar and let him know he's off the hook for the swing.
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...Well, you know. They've settled into a routine, of sorts, and it's comfortable. Less comfortable are the, like, dozen eyes trained on him as they approach. He can feel them! Ugh! Time to bring a hand up to absently scrub at his face.]
Do I have a choice? [he grumbles, knowing that he really doesn't—and that he really doesn't mind.] As long as the snack isn't sweet.
[He Will Endure. But that sure is a child pressing their entire face to the glass as they approach? Felix gives them A Look.]
...Maybe I'll help this Ragnar paint the front door.
[He's KIDDING! Mostly.]
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I'll ask for some crackers for you, [he says, gesturing for Felix to go in ahead of him, which will definitely end in Felix being followed by a bunch of little kids. They are in awe of this sword man... Constantin takes a quick look around once they're back inside, doing a headcount.]
Wait here and I'll find him and Luther.
[And... bye! Enjoy these several minutes spent with The Children, while Constantin goes off. Not pictured: Ragnar telling Constantin that Felix, by association with his horse, is the worst person to ever breathe, and Constantin making a quick detour upstairs to fetch his favorite son and usher him down. Ragnar's continued complaints can probably be heard faintly in the background...
Anyway, he's back! With baby.]
You've charmed Ragnar irreparably. He'll be a minute.
[In the meantime, he very casually nudges Luther forward; Luther in turn shuffles his way over to Felix and staunchly without looking at him, holds out a sheet of paper. Has this child drawn Felix a picture? Is it (supposedly) a drawing of Luther and his dads in Kyst? Well these brown boxy things are probably buildings, so: yes and yes. Take this.]
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...But not the twins. The twins, emboldened by being Known as troublemakers, bound forward, waving their sticks about and asking Felix fifty questions at once. Which sword is the sharpest? What other weapons did he bring? How many monsters has he killed? Utterly ridiculous things that Felix normally scoffs at, but as some of the quieter children press closer, curiosity triumphing over wariness...
Well, by the time Constantin wanders back into the room with Luther in tow, it's like this: Fritz (maybe Otto?) is holding his stick-slash-sword in front of him, watching as Otto (maybe Fritz?) brings his stick-slash-sword around in a slow, smooth, Felix-instructed arc to smack against it. The other kids are watching from the sidelines, so hey, it's cool? It's fine? We are all Learning here, thanks, even as Felix shoots Connie a quick look. Whomst? ...Oh, right.]
I haven't met him. [And he Does Not Care about this stranger's opinion, clearly, which is why he looks back down at Fritz (maybe Otto?).] Always block with the flat of your blade. Understand?
[Of course they understand. They're going to spend the rest of this fine afternoon smacking the shit out of one another, and Felix sees absolutely nothing wrong with it—but oh, hello, Luther. Felix offers him a nod of greeting before the boy heads over to him, holding out that piece of paper that Felix carefully takes. The other kids are torn between watching the twins and watching Felix; it's loud and chaotic and exactly what a room full of kids should be, but as Felix takes in this drawing, all other distractions temporarily fall to the wayside. A small figure flanked by two taller ones. Well, one is Constantin, naturally, but the one with the sharp scowl...]
That's— me? [A glance up at Luther, who nods, before Felix shifts his attention back down to the paper.] ...Right. Two swords.
[Two very carefully drawn lines. ...How do you praise a child? Hell if Felix knows, but after staring down at this picture for a few seconds longer, Felix looks back up at Luther before reaching out to, like... pat him on his shoulder. Gently. He never liked when others abruptly ruffled his hair, so maybe it's the same for this small human.]
...Thank you.
[Constantin, please appreciate this tender moment—but also help him, because Goddess above, but where does one go from here. Luther caught him off guard! He is defenseless! This is cheating.]
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Or, actually, hold on— he will turn and listen to Ragnar's hasty complaints, all muttered while passing him a tray of Afternoon Snacks and promising he will be back with some water in a moment, leaving Constantin to finally come to the rescue if only to put the snacks down on a little crafts table and wag a finger at a child instantly more interested in food than grumpy sword man. Patience is a virtue, etc.
Then, helpfully, to Felix:]
I think he captured your essence.
[Two swords? Scowl? That's the Felixperience(tm)! And Constantin's appearance is all Luther needs to nod at Felix again and then hustle away to stand next to the other dad. He does not cling because the twins would be, well, the twins about it, but he does linger. A successful Felix interaction...? Yes.]
Ragnar says you've spoiled his whole garden. What did you do?
[Said with amusement... sorry Ragnar.]
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But that doesn't mean he's about to be all open about it, so when Constantin addresses him—ah! Well. He glances over at him, humming in wry acknowledgement—and straightening up as he's reminded of the, ah, distinct difference between his stick figure's height and Constantin's stick figure's height. He's not that much shorter, Luther... damn...]
I didn't— [A beat, as things click in place. A sigh. A hand once again coming up to scrub against his face, because oh, dear.] ...Dorte.
[Problem Child #2! Thanks, Marianne.]
A horse. From my world. He eats everything. [Hmm—] I didn't know the flowers would be a problem.
[And he's not concerned with Dorte's welfare, because Dorte the War Horse can and will take care of himself.]
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[Surely Felix wouldn't tie his horse right next to the flower garden, right? Surely he wouldn't do that. That would be silly, at best.
But since Felix surely didn't do that, Constantin gives him one last look before, like, extracting himself from the mob of children to make his way over to the Grown Up Seating, which is a beat up old couch. It's comfortable, if a little lumpy. It's snack time, so pop a squat, mister!! There's no getting out of this one!]
Well, hold onto that picture, [like he's not super soft for it, ha ha] and I'll find you something to hold it in later.
[Like a folder... or a clipboard. It needs to be safely transported home so he can frame it. And oh,]
Ah- and I promised I would make it worth your while for helping with the swing! I owe you a cup of tea. Later.
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Or: Felix is stupid, and thus Felix only offers up a stiff shrug before he does indeed drop onto this lumpy couch. The picture is safe and sound atop his lap; he resists the urge to keep looking down at it like an idiot, because yes, he is charmed by it. It's like... one of Annette's silly songs? It's sweet.
Speaking of sweet things:]
Tea, [he repeats, blinking down at the picture after all as he briefly considers how long he intends to stay. It isn't as though he made any other plans, so. Hmm.] I see. Almyran Pine would be... appreciated.
[His awkward way of saying he'd quite like to enjoy evening teatime with Connie, all while he stares down at their stick-figure likenesses. Ah. The warmth is back—or, more accurately, the warmth never left, because the warmth is always there; it only intensifies when he glances back Connie's way.]
Have you tried it?
[Do you love Pine-Sol, Connie. Do you.]
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